Mistakes Happen … Otherwise You Wouldn’t Be Born
Saturday, October 31, 2015
Why Our Ass Is Split Vertically?
Ever Imagined, Why Our Ass Is Split Vertically ??
Because If It Was Split Horizontally, It Would Clap When You’d Run Down The Stairs !!!
ms. Neelam
A first-grade teacher, Ms Neelam (Age 28) was having trouble with one of
her students
The teacher asked,”Boy. what is your problem?”
Boy. answered, “I’m too smart for the first-grade!.My sister is in
the third-grade and I’m smarter than she is! I thinkI should be in the
third-grade too!”
Ms Neelam had enough. She took Boy. to the principal’s office.
While Boy. waited in the outer office, the teach…er explained to the
principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms Neelam he would
give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was
to go back to the first-grade and behave.She agreed.
Boy. was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed
to take the test.
Princi! pal: “What is 3 x 3?”
Boy.: “9″.
Principal: “What is 6 x 6?”
Boy.: “36″.
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade
should know. The principal looks at Ms Neelam and tells her, “I think Boy.
can go to the third-grade.”
Ms Neelam says to the principal, “I have some of my own questions.
Can I ask him ?” The principal and Boy. both agree.
Ms Neelam asks, “What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?
Boy., after a moment “Legs.”
M! s Nee lam: “What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?”
Boy.: “Pockets.”
Ms Neelam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy,
oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Boy.: Coconut
Ms Neelam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And
sticky? The principal’s eyes open really wide and before he could
stop the answer, Boy. was taking charge.
Boy.: Bubblegum
Ms Neelam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting
down and a dog does on three legs? The principal’s ey! es open
really wide and before he could stop the answer…
Boy.: Shake hands
Ms Neelam: Now I will ask some “Who am I” sort of questions, okay?
Boy.: Yep.
Ms Neelam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me
up. I get wet before you do.
Boy.: Tent
Ms Neelam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you’re
bored. The best man always has me first.The Principal was
looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg.
Boy.: Wedding Ring
Ms Neelam: I come in many sizes. When I’m not well, I drip. When you
blow me, you feel good.
Boy.: Nose
Ms Neelam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a
quiver.
Boy.: Arrow
Ms Neelam: What word starts with a ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ that means lot
of heat and excitement?
Boy.: Firetruck
Ms Neelam: What word starts with a ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ & if u don’t get
it u have to use ur hand.
Boy.: Fork
Ms Neelam: What is it that all men have one of it’s longer on some men
than on others, the pope doesn’t use his and a man gives it to his wife
after they’re married?
Boy.: SURNAME
Ms Neelam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots
of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love ?
Boy.: HEART.
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,
“Send this Boy. to Delhi University, I got the last ten questions
wrong myself!” :p
her students
The teacher asked,”Boy. what is your problem?”
Boy. answered, “I’m too smart for the first-grade!.My sister is in
the third-grade and I’m smarter than she is! I thinkI should be in the
third-grade too!”
Ms Neelam had enough. She took Boy. to the principal’s office.
While Boy. waited in the outer office, the teach…er explained to the
principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms Neelam he would
give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was
to go back to the first-grade and behave.She agreed.
Boy. was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed
to take the test.
Princi! pal: “What is 3 x 3?”
Boy.: “9″.
Principal: “What is 6 x 6?”
Boy.: “36″.
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade
should know. The principal looks at Ms Neelam and tells her, “I think Boy.
can go to the third-grade.”
Ms Neelam says to the principal, “I have some of my own questions.
Can I ask him ?” The principal and Boy. both agree.
Ms Neelam asks, “What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?
Boy., after a moment “Legs.”
M! s Nee lam: “What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?”
Boy.: “Pockets.”
Ms Neelam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy,
oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Boy.: Coconut
Ms Neelam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And
sticky? The principal’s eyes open really wide and before he could
stop the answer, Boy. was taking charge.
Boy.: Bubblegum
Ms Neelam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting
down and a dog does on three legs? The principal’s ey! es open
really wide and before he could stop the answer…
Boy.: Shake hands
Ms Neelam: Now I will ask some “Who am I” sort of questions, okay?
Boy.: Yep.
Ms Neelam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me
up. I get wet before you do.
Boy.: Tent
Ms Neelam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you’re
bored. The best man always has me first.The Principal was
looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg.
Boy.: Wedding Ring
Ms Neelam: I come in many sizes. When I’m not well, I drip. When you
blow me, you feel good.
Boy.: Nose
Ms Neelam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a
quiver.
Boy.: Arrow
Ms Neelam: What word starts with a ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ that means lot
of heat and excitement?
Boy.: Firetruck
Ms Neelam: What word starts with a ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ & if u don’t get
it u have to use ur hand.
Boy.: Fork
Ms Neelam: What is it that all men have one of it’s longer on some men
than on others, the pope doesn’t use his and a man gives it to his wife
after they’re married?
Boy.: SURNAME
Ms Neelam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots
of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love ?
Boy.: HEART.
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,
“Send this Boy. to Delhi University, I got the last ten questions
wrong myself!” :p
Let Me See That Little Thing
Doctor To Lady: “Your Heart, Lungs, Pulse & B.P Are Ok, Now Let Me See That Little Thing Which Gets You Ladies Into All Kinds Of Trouble”
Lady: “No-No”
Doctor Smiles and Says: “I Didn’t Ask You To Strip, Just Show Me Your Tongue.”
Difference Between Wife & Neighbor’s Wife?
Question: What is the Difference Between Wife & Neighbor’s Wife?
Answer: Wife Is A Chocolate, Can Have Anytime. Neighbor Wife Is Like An Ice-Cream, Should Have Immediately.
Meri Choot Mein Taanke Lagva Do
Ek Ladki Nurse Se: “Meri Choot Fat Gayi Hai Mujhe Taanke Lagwane Hain.”
Nurse: “Size Kitna Rakhna Hai?”
Ladki Soch Kar Boli: “Apni Ke Jitna Rakh Do.”
Nurse: “Fir Toh Aur Jyada Faadni Padegi….“
Nurse: “Fir Toh Aur Jyada Faadni Padegi….“
Daddy Mujhe Aj Jaruri Pese Chahiye
Ek Ladka Apne Baap Se,
Beta: “Daddy Mujhe Paise Do Mujhe Jaruri Chahiye”
Papa: “Nahi Doonga Or Vese Bhi Mere Paas Nahi Hai”
Beta: “Toh Kya Swaad Lene Ke Liye Paida Kiya Tha?”
Papa: “Bhonsdi Ke Teri Maa Ki Choot Abhi Tak Band Nahi Hui Hai… Wapis Ja Ke Ghuss Ja Andar…“
Newton’s 3 SEX Laws
Newton’s 3 Scientific SEX Laws
- A Hole Always Attracts a Pole.
- Length of Pole is Equal To Depth of Hole.
- Up Down Motion Releases a Lotion which increases Population without calculation.
Friends, Keep In Touch
One Day A Sad Monkey Wanted To End His Life.
So, He Went Up To A Sleeping Lion And Put His Finger In The Lion’s Ass.
The Lion Woke Up Angry And Roared,
Lion: “Who Did That ? Who Has Called For His Death?”
Monkey: “Its Me”
Lion: “Did Anyone See You?”
Monkey: “No”
Lion: “Ok, Do It Again Bro !”
Moral: “Akele Rah Rah Kar Jungle Ka Badshah Bhi Gandoo Ho Jata Hai. So Keep In Touch“
So, He Went Up To A Sleeping Lion And Put His Finger In The Lion’s Ass.
The Lion Woke Up Angry And Roared,
Lion: “Who Did That ? Who Has Called For His Death?”
Monkey: “Its Me”
Lion: “Did Anyone See You?”
Monkey: “No”
Lion: “Ok, Do It Again Bro !”
Moral: “Akele Rah Rah Kar Jungle Ka Badshah Bhi Gandoo Ho Jata Hai. So Keep In Touch“
Sachhi Dosti Aur Whisky Ka Peg
Banta Ki Tabiyat Bahaut Kharab Thi. Wo ICU Mein Bed Pe Leta Marne Wala Tha.
Usne Santa Ko Apne Paas Bulaya Aur Ek Bag Dete Hue Bade Pyar Se Bola.
Banta: “Ye Le Ek Lakh Rupaye. Mere Marne Ke Baad Meri Kabar Par Ek Peg Whisky Roz Chidak Diyo.”
Santa N Kuch Socha Aur Puchha: “Tu Bura Na Maane To Chidakne Se Pahle Us Whiskey Ko Apni Kidney Se Filter Kar Du?
Friday, October 30, 2015
All You Have To Do Is Say 123
After A Few Years Of Married Life, A Man Finds That He Is Unable To Perform For His Wife.
He Goes To His Doctor, And His Doctor Tries A Few Medications, But Nothing Works.
Finally The Doctor Tells Him “It’s All In His Mind, And Refers Him To A Psychiatrist.”
After A Few Visits With The Psychiatrist, The Psychiatrist Confesses He Can Not Figure Out What Is Wrong.
The Psychiatrist Decides To Refer Him To “A Witch Doctor.”
The Witch Doctor Says: “I Can Cure This!”
He Throws Some Powder On A Flame, And There Is A Flash With Billowing Blue Smoke.
The Witch Doctor Says “This Is Powerful Healing, But You Can Only Use It Once A Year. All You Have To Do Is Say ‘123‘ And It Shall Rise For As Long As You Wish.”
The Guy Then Asks The Witch Doctor: “What Happens When It’s Over?”
The Witch Doctor Says, “All You Or Your Partner Has To Say Is ‘1234‘ And It Will Go Down. But Be Warned It Will Not Work Again For A Full Year.”
The Guy Goes Home And That Night He Is Ready To Surprise His Wife With The Good News.
So, As He Is Lying In Bed With His Wife He Says: “123“, And Suddenly His Penis Gets A Huge Erection.
With That, His Wife Turns Over And Says: “What Did You Say ‘123’ For?“
Dost Dost Na Raha, Pyar Pyar Na Raha
Dosto Aapne Ye Gaana “Dost Dost Na Raha, Pyar Pyar Na Raha” Bahut Suna Hoga, Par Aaj Mein Aap Logo Ko Iske Piche Ki Story Batata Hun
————
Santa Apni Biwi Ko Sex Mein Santushti Dene Mein Asmarth Tha.
Ek Din Tang Aakar Usne Apne Dost Banta Se Salaah Li.
Usi Raat Santa Ne Apni Biwi Se Sex Karte Hue Puchha
Santa: “Darling, Aaj Tumhe Kuch Fark Lag Raha Hai?”
Biwi Khush Hote Hue: “Haan Janu, Aaj Tum Bilkul Banta Ki Tarah Kar Rahe Ho“
Ladkiya Kya Sochti Hai, Gale Milte Waqt?
Ladkiya Aapas Mein Gale Milte Waqt Kya Sochti Hai ??
Iss Ke Toh Mujh Se Bhi Jyada Bade Bade Ho Gaye Hai !!
Pata Nahi Kaun Sa Shampoo Use Karti Hai …
Girlfriend Ke Sath Sona Paap Hai Kya?
Baba Saxidas Ke Hazro Bhakto Mein Se Unka Ek Anuj Naam Ka Bhakat Thha.
Ek Din Ja Pahuncha Baba Ke Pass Aur Puchne Laga.
Anuj: “Baba Ji, Kya Girlfriend Ke Saath Sona Paap Hai?”
Baba Saxidas Muskura Ke Bole: “Beta, Baat Paap Punya Ki Nahi Hai, Samsya Ye Hai Ki Tum Log Sotey Nahi Ho Na“
Look At Me Darling
Man Looked His Naked Body In Mirror And Said To The Wife
Man: “Look 70 Kgs Of Pure Dynamite”
Wife Smiled And Reply: “But Shame On The 5cm Fuse“
Thursday, October 29, 2015
Kamasutra Says That Sex Is…
Kamasutra Says That Sex Is…
Duty – If Done With Your Wife.
Art – If Done With Your Lover.
Education – If Done With A Virgin.
Tuition – If Done With Your Teacher.
Job – If Done With Your Secretary.
Science – If Done With A Fertile Lady.
Business Transaction – If Done With A Prostitute.
Social Work – If Done With Your Neighbour.
Charity – If Done With A Widow.
Sacrifice – If Done With Your Own Hand.
Art – If Done With Your Lover.
Education – If Done With A Virgin.
Tuition – If Done With Your Teacher.
Job – If Done With Your Secretary.
Science – If Done With A Fertile Lady.
Business Transaction – If Done With A Prostitute.
Social Work – If Done With Your Neighbour.
Charity – If Done With A Widow.
Sacrifice – If Done With Your Own Hand.
Ladkiyo Ke Nipples Ke Aas Pass Dots Kyu Hai?
Baba Saxidas Ke Ek Bhakt Ne Badi Pareshan Si Halat Mein Unse Puchha.
Bhakt: “Ladkiyo Ke Nipples Ke Aas-Pas Small Dots Kyu Hote Hain?”
Babaji: “Yeh Andhe Bhaiyo Ke Liye Bhagwan Ne Braille Lipi Mein Likha Hai Kripya Yahaa Chuse.“
Ladka Nikalu Ya Ladki?
Pati Ne Suhagrat Pe Patni Se Sex Shuru Kiya Aur Enjoy Karte Hue Bola
Pati: “Darling Ladka Nikalu Ya Ladki?”
Patni: “Tumhari Maan Ka Bhosda, Bhenchod Pehle Jo Dala Hai Wo Nikal, Dard Se Meri Gand Fati Jaa Rahi Hai“
Meri Spelling Galat Thi Kya?
Ek Budha Ek Ladki Se Takraya.
Budha: “Sorry”
Ladki: “Andha Hai Kya, Dikhta Nahi”
Ladki Jaise Hi Aage Badhi, Ek Handsome Ladka Us Ladki Se Takra Gaya.
Ladka: “Sorry”
Ladki: “It’s Okay”
Budhe Ne Jab Ye Suna To Gusse Se Ladki Se Bola
Budha: “Bahan Ki Laudi Meri Sorry Ki Spelling Galat Thi Kya?“
Wednesday, October 28, 2015
Henry Ford Vs God
Henry Ford Once Told God: “My Product Car Is Better Than Your Invention Woman”
God: “You May Be Right But Statistics Show That More Men Ride My Invention Then Yours“
World’s Most Romantic Line
World’s Most Romantic Line Ever Said By A Girl To Her Boyfriend.
“Achcha Baba Lo Kar Lo“
Two Types of Girls
Girls 2 Types Ki Hoti Hai
1st Boring Girls – Jo Dhup Mein Bhi Chhatri Leke Chalti Hai.
2nd Bindas Girl – Jo Baarish Mein Bhi White Dress Pahnti Hai, Aur Chattri Jan Bhuj Ke Ghar Bhul Jati Hai.
Bhagwaan Ke Naam Par Roti Milegi?
Bikhari Ne Ek Aadmi Ke Ghar Ka Darwaja Khatkataya Aur Bola
Bhikari: “Babuji, Bhagwaan Ke Naam Par Roti Milegi?”
Babuji: “Akela Hoon Ghar Pe Koi Aurat Nahi Hai”
Bhikari: “Babuji, Taqleef Pet Mein Hai Lund Mein Nahi, Roti Maangi Hai Choot Nahi“
Difference Between Boot (Shoes) And Choot?
What Is The Difference Between Boot (Shoes) And Choot?
The Boot Accepts Only One Size. Whereas Choot Accepts All Sizes.
Dheere Dheere Lene Mein Hi Maza Aata Hai
Do Ladkiyaan Aapas Mein Ek-Dusre Se Baatein Kar Rahi Thi.
Pahli: “Kal Mera First Time Tha”
Dusri: “Oh Really, Kya Hua?”
Dusri: “Oh Really, Kya Hua?”
Pahli: “Shuru Mein Dheere-Dheere Andar Liya Aur Dheere Se Bahar Nikaala”
Dusri: “Dheere Se Kyu?”
Dusri: “Dheere Se Kyu?”
Pahli: “Unhone Bataya Tha, Pehle Dheere-Dheere Karna Hai”
Dusri: “Theek Hai, Phir?”
Dusri: “Theek Hai, Phir?”
Pahli: “Pehle 10 Minute Tak Aise Hi Kiya, Badi Mushkil Hui Kaabu Karne Mein”
Dusri: “Uske Baad? Kya Hua”
Dusri: “Uske Baad? Kya Hua”
Pahli: “Phir Thoda Teji Se Liya, Phir Aur Tej – Phir Aur Tez”
Dusri: “Hmmmmmm Phir ?”
Dusri: “Hmmmmmm Phir ?”
Pahli: “Phir Jhatke Se Andar Leti Gayi, Aur Jhatke Se Bahar Nikaalti Gayi”
Dusri: “Oh My God”
Dusri: “Oh My God”
Pahli: “Saare Room Mein Aawaaz Goonjne Lagi, Kafi Der Tak Kiya, Teji Se Lete Aur Bahar Nikaalte Hue Dard Bhi Shuru Ho Gaya Tha”
Dusri: “Aage Bataaaa, Phir Kya Hua”
Dusri: “Aage Bataaaa, Phir Kya Hua”
Pahli: “Bas Yaar Ramdev Baba Ne Kaha Aise Hi Pranayaam Mein Apne Saans Ko Kaabu Karo, Anand Aayega“
Who Made You Pregnant
Mom To Her Younger Daughter: “Please Tell Me The Name Of Asshole, Who Made You Pregnant“.
Girl Replied: “Hey Mom, After Eating Bunches Of Bananas Can You Specify Which Banana Made You Fat.“
Why Are Vegetarian Women Silent During Sex?
Questions: “Why Are Vegetarian Women Silent During Sex?”
Answer: “They Are In State Of Shock That A Piece Of Meat Can Give So Much Pleasure“
Pahle Maa Ko To Bacha Lo
Ek Foji Naukari Se Aate Time Apne Dono Bachho Ke Liye T-Shirt Lekar Ghar Aaya.
Uske Bachho Ne T-Shirt Ko Dekh Kar Use Ek Table Par Rakh Diya.
Kuch Der Baad Foji Ne Apni Patni Ko Andar Le Jakar Room Band Kar Liya, Aur Bachho Se Kaha.
Foji: “Darwaja Mat Kholna Main Tumhari Mummy Ke Liye Ek Secret Gift Laya Hoon Jise Pahle Mummy Ko Dikhaunga”
Us Kamre Ke Upar Ek Roshan-Daan Tha, Bade Bachhe Ne Socha Ki Chalo Dekhte Hai Ki Mummy Ke Liye Papa Kya Laye Hai.
Isliye Wo T-Shirt Waali Table Lagakar Dekhne Laga, Itne Mein Chhote Wala Bacha Bola,
Chhota Bachha: “T-Shirts Ke Upar Chadh Kar Inki Maan Kyon Chod Raha Hai?”
Tab Bade Wale Bache Ne Kaha: “Array, T-Shirt Gayi Maa Chudvane, Andar To Hamari Apni Maan Chud Rahi Hai“
This Is How Ladies Learn Tennis
Lady: “I Want To Learn Tennis”
Coach: “No Problem Mam, Just Hold This Racket As You Hold Your Husband’s Penis”
Lady: “Ok”
Lady: “Ok”
Coach: “No No Mam, Get The Racket Out Of Your Mouth“
Har Kam Apne Waqt Par Hi Hota Hai
Thekedar Ke Bete Ne Apne Daddy Se Ek Farmayish Ki.
Beta: “Daddy, Mujhe Ek Bhai Aur Chahiye Chahiye Wo Bhi Aaj Aur Abhi”
Thekedar: “Par Beta Is Kaam Mein 9 Mahiney Lagte Hai”
Beta Request Karte Hue: “Papa, Aap To Thekedar Hai 7 8 Aadmi Laga Ke Jaldi Kara Do Na“
Ladki Ko Paise Ka Rob Dene Se Pahle Soch Samajh Le
Chinki Ki Class Mein Ek Ladka Aaya, Chinki Pe Rob Jhadne Ke Liye Uske Pass Gaya Aur Bola
Ladka: “Meri Jeans 2000 Ki Hai, Meri Shirt 1500 Ki Hai, Mere Jute 2500 Ke Hai”
Chinki Ne Ye Suna Aur Usko Upar Se Niche Tak Dekha Aur Boli
Chinki: “Bhonsdi Ke Bas Kar, Pehle Jeans Ki Zip Band Karle Tera 20 Rupaye Ka Phoolon Wala Kachha Dikh Raha Hai“
Can I Kiss You?
Boy Asked To A Girl: “Can I Kiss You?”
Girl Answered: “Yes! Of Course, But Where? On Vertical Or Horizontal Lips?”
Boy: “What?”
Girl: “I Mean On Upper Or Lower Lips?”
Boy: “I Did Not Get You?”
Irritated Girl: “Chutiyae, Hontho Pe Ya Chut Pe?“
Irritated Girl: “Chutiyae, Hontho Pe Ya Chut Pe?“
Best Goal Keeper In The World?
Did You Know Who Is The Best Goal Keeper In The World?
Answer: “Women”
Because No Matter How Much Or Which Way You Fuck Her, Your Balls Never Go In
Because No Matter How Much Or Which Way You Fuck Her, Your Balls Never Go In
Awaz Mein Mithaas, Surat Bhi Khaas
Aawaz Mein Ek Mithaas Hain, Surat Bhi Khaas Hain,
Tameez Aur Kameez Bhi Teri Ekdum 1st Class Hain…
Tameez Aur Kameez Bhi Teri Ekdum 1st Class Hain…
Bus Khuda Ne Galti Se Tujge Ek Lund Laga Diya Hain
Varna Itam Toh Tu Bhi Saale Jhakaas Hain….
Varna Itam Toh Tu Bhi Saale Jhakaas Hain….
Jani, Baat Palle Band Lo
Gosht Ke Bagair Kabab Nahi Banta,
Batain Chodnay Se Koi Nawab Nahi Banta.
Bacha Paida Karny Ke Liye Lund Dalna Padta Hai,
Jani Muthain Marne Se Koi Baap Nahi Banta.
Kaun Si Cheej Sabse Achhi Lagi?
Pati Ko Dama Ho Gaya Tha, Ek Din Sex Karte Waqt Patni Se Bola.
Pati: “Jaan, Tumhe Meri Kaun Si Cheej Sabse Achhi Lagi?”
Biwi: “Khansi, Jab Aap Lund Daal Kar Bina Ruke Khanste Ho“
Bus Driver Se Shadi Karne Ka Nuksan
Ek Ladki Ki Bus Driver Se Shaadi Hui
Dusre Din Jab Ladki Suhagraat Manna Se Room Ke Bahar Aayi To Uski Saheli Ne Poocha
Saheli: “Kyu, Raat Bhar Jija Ji Ne Tumahri Bahut Mari Jo Tum Itna Akad Ke Chal Rahi Ho”
Ladki: “Nahi Yaar, Wo Gandu To Bus Ki Brake Samajh Kar Raat Bhar Choot Pe Laat Marta Raha“
Tauba Tauba Aisi Biwi Kisi Ko Na Mile
Biwi Kuch Dino Ke Liye Mayke Ja Rahi Thi To Pati Ne Puchha
Pati: “Kuch Aur Chahiye?”
Biwi: “Haan Apna Lund Kat Kar Mere Ko Dedo, Maza Bhi Aata Rahega Aur Aap Par Shak Bhi Nahi Hoga“
Define Contraceptive Pill?
Question: “Define Contraceptive Pill?”
Answer: “It’s The Second Best Thing A Woman Can Keep In Her Mouth To Avoid Pregnancy! Now Don’t Ask What The First Thing Is!“
Jani, Baat Palle Band Lo
Gosht Ke Bagair Kabab Nahi Banta,
Batain Chodnay Se Koi Nawab Nahi Banta.
Bacha Paida Karny Ke Liye Lund Dalna Padta Hai,
Jani Muthain Marne Se Koi Baap Nahi Banta.
Responses During Sex With Different Girls
Responses During Sex With Different Girls
Girlfriend – “Wow Darling, This Is Great”
Prostitute – “Come On.. Finish It Now..”
Wife – “I Think The Ceiling Needs Painting..“
Prostitute – “Come On.. Finish It Now..”
Wife – “I Think The Ceiling Needs Painting..“
Be Aware….
Never Drink Unboiled Water,
Because Fish Have Sex In Water Without Wearing Condom,
Pass This SMS To All Your Friends To Prevent AIDS
.
.
.
Just Joking.
.
.
.
Just Joking.
20 Saal Ki Patni Pregnent Ho Gayi
Ek 80 Saal Ka Aadmi Doctor Se Kehta Hai: “Doctor Sahab Meri 20 Saal Ki Patni Pregnent Ho Gayi Hai.”
Toh Doctor Bola Ek Kahani Suno
Ek Shikari Shikar Per Jaane Ki Zaldi Mein Apni Bandook Ki Jagah Chatri Le Gaya.
Jungle Mein Chalte Chalte Uske Samne Ek Sher Aa Jata Hai
Shikari Chatri Ka Handle Kheench Ker Fire Kerta Hai Aur Sher Mer Jata Hai
80 Saal Ka Aadmi Doctor Se Kehata Hai: “Yeh Kaise Ho Sakta Hai Ki Chatri Se Sher Mar Jaye, Jaroor Kisi Doosre Ne Goli Mari Hogi”
Doctor Kehta Hai: “Excatly Ab Samjhe Kuch“
Doctor Kehta Hai: “Excatly Ab Samjhe Kuch“
Susu Karte Hue 4 Dhaar Nikalti Hai
Ek Bar Ek Ladki Badi Pareshan Si Doctor Ke Pass Gayi
Doctor Ne Uski Pareshani Puchhi To Ladki Boli: “Doctor Saab Jab Mein Su-Su Karti Hoon To 4 Dhar Nikalti Hain.”
After Checkup The Girl Doctor Said: “Kudiye 4 Dhaar To Niklengi Hi, Andar Kisi Ki Pant Ka Button Fassa Hua Hai“
Harami Naukar Ki Masoom Soch
Madam Sahiba Bathroom Se Naha Ke Jaisi Hi Bahar Nikli To Dekha Ki Naukar Keyhole Se Usko Jhank Raha Tha
Madam Guse Se: “Kyu Jaank Raha Tha Tu?”
Naukar Masumiyat Se: “Bibi Ji, Aapne Hi To Kaha Tha Ki Main Nahane Ja Rahi Hun, Tum Doodh Dekhte Rahna“
Naukar Masumiyat Se: “Bibi Ji, Aapne Hi To Kaha Tha Ki Main Nahane Ja Rahi Hun, Tum Doodh Dekhte Rahna“
Awaz Mein Mithaas, Surat Bhi Khaas
Aawaz Mein Ek Mithaas Hain, Surat Bhi Khaas Hain,
Tameez Aur Kameez Bhi Teri Ekdum 1st Class Hain…
Tameez Aur Kameez Bhi Teri Ekdum 1st Class Hain…
Bus Khuda Ne Galti Se Tujge Ek Lund Laga Diya Hain
Varna Itam Toh Tu Bhi Saale Jhakaas Hain….
Varna Itam Toh Tu Bhi Saale Jhakaas Hain….
Definition Of A Kiss
What Is A Kiss?
Answer: Its An Inquiry At The Top Floor Regarding The Vacancy In The Ground Floor.
Sex Aur Cycle Chalane Mein Farq?
Larki Se Sex Aur Cycle Chalane Main Kiya Farq Hai?
“Cycle Par Gaand Ek Jagha Tika Kar Taangein Chalani Padti Hain Aur Ladki Par Taangein Tika Kar Gaand Hilani Padti Hai“
Is Bache Ka To Kam Tamaam Ho Hi Gaya
Bachhe Ne Paida Hote Hi Nurse Se Puchha.
Bachha: “Jo Bahar Khade Hai Wo Mere Papa Hai Ya Abbu?”
Nurse: “Abbu”
Bachha: “Iski Maa Ka Gaya Loda Kaam Se“
Sex Ka Mood Thha Shayad
Rajan Kumar Jo Bachpan Se Ganje The Ek Din Jab Ghar Gaye To Aate Hi Apni Biwi Ke Kapde Utarne Lage,
Biwi Samjh Gayi Aaj Jaroor Tasalli Baksh Thukayi Hogi Aur Khush Hone Lagi.
Jab Biwi Ke Saare Kapde Utar Diye To Rajan Kumar Ne Use Utha Kar Apne Sar Par Betha Liya.
Biwi Hairan Hote Hue: “Rajju Ye Kya Kar Rahe Ho?”
Wo Bina Kuch Bole Use Lekar Aaine Ke Samne Khada Ho Jata Hai Aur Kahta Hai.
Rajan Kumar: “Darling, Main To Ye Dekha Raha Tha Ki Mere Ganje Sar Par Gungrale Baal Kaise Lagenge?“
Syana Doctor Santa
Ek Baar Ek Aadmi Ped Se Ghir Jata Hai Aur Uska Haath Toot Jata Hai
Gaanv Wale Usko Kahte Hai Ki Shahar Mein Jaa Vaha Santa Hai Jo Gaanv Se Hi Gaya Hai Bahut Bada DoctorBan Gaya Hai
Gaanv Wale Usko Leke Shahar Pahunch Jaate Hai, Aadmi Santa Se Bolta Hai
Aadmi: “Dr. Saab Main Ped Pe Chad Raha Thha, Dali Toot Gayi Aur Niche Girney Se Haath Toot Gaya”
Aadmi: “Dr. Saab Main Ped Pe Chad Raha Thha, Dali Toot Gayi Aur Niche Girney Se Haath Toot Gaya”
Santa: “Thik Hai Pant Utar Aur Samne Wale Bench Pe Ulta Ho Ke Let Ja”
Aadmi Gabra Jata Hai Aur Puchta Hai
Aadmi: “Dr Saab Mera Haath Tuta Hai Pant Utarva Ke Kya Karoge?”
Santa Gusse Se: “Madhar Chod, Pahle Jo Teri Gaand Mein Keeda Hai Usko Nikalunga Taki Tu Dobara Ped Pe Na Chadd Sake“
Kaun Si Cheej Sabse Achhi Lagi?
Pati Ko Dama Ho Gaya Tha, Ek Din Sex Karte Waqt Patni Se Bola.
Pati: “Jaan, Tumhe Meri Kaun Si Cheej Sabse Achhi Lagi?”
Biwi: “Khansi, Jab Aap Lund Daal Kar Bina Ruke Khanste Ho“
Bus Driver Se Shadi Karne Ka Nuksan
Ek Ladki Ki Bus Driver Se Shaadi Hui
Dusre Din Jab Ladki Suhagraat Manna Se Room Ke Bahar Aayi To Uski Saheli Ne Poocha
Saheli: “Kyu, Raat Bhar Jija Ji Ne Tumahri Bahut Mari Jo Tum Itna Akad Ke Chal Rahi Ho”
Ladki: “Nahi Yaar, Wo Gandu To Bus Ki Brake Samajh Kar Raat Bhar Choot Pe Laat Marta Raha“
Friday, October 23, 2015
HINDI SMS LOVE: मोहब्बत एक अहसासों की पावन सी कहानी है !
HINDI SMS LOVE: मोहब्बत एक अहसासों की पावन सी कहानी है !: मोहब्बत एक अहसासों की पावन सी कहानी है ! कभी कबिरा दीवाना था कभी मीरा दीवानी है !! यहाँ सब लोग कहते हैं, मेरी आंखों में आँसू हैं ! जो...
Santa Aur Condoms Ka Order
Santa Ki Condoms Banane Ki Factory Thhi
Ek Baar USA Se Order Aaya Ki 14 Inch Ke Condoms Bana Do.
Santa Ne Socha: “Itne Bade Size Ke Condom Banva Ke America Wale Hamari Beizzti Karna Chahte Hai”
Usne Apne Workers Ko Kaha: “Tum Condoms Ka Order Ready Karo, Aur Packing Wale Dibbe Pe Likh Dena,Medium Size“
Usne Apne Workers Ko Kaha: “Tum Condoms Ka Order Ready Karo, Aur Packing Wale Dibbe Pe Likh Dena,Medium Size“
Kudiye Tu Darr Na
Ladki Sadak Pe Jaa Rahi Thhi Aur Sardar Ji Ko Sadak Ke Kinare Peshab Kartey Dekh Kar Apna Rasta Badalne Lagi
To Sardar Ji Bole: “Oye Kudiye Tu Darr Na, Jiss Cheez Se Tu Darr Rahi Hai Usko To Maine Hath Mein Pakda Hua Hai“
Amli And Lady In Bus, No Smoking
Ek Din Ek Amli Bus Vich Saffar Kar Reya Si Te Naale Cigrette Pe Reya Si
Naal Bethi Aurat Ne Tang Aake Keya Ki: “Tenu Dikhda Nahi Ki Bus Vich Likya Hoya Hai No Smoking”
Naal Bethi Aurat Ne Tang Aake Keya Ki: “Tenu Dikhda Nahi Ki Bus Vich Likya Hoya Hai No Smoking”
Amli Ciggerte Sutt Denda Hai Thodi Der Baad Ohi Aurat Apne Bachhe Nu Doodh Pilan Lag Payi
Mauka Vekh Ke Amli Usnu Kehnda Hai: “Tu Anni Hai Tenu Disda Nahi Ki Bus Vich Eh V Likhya Hai Ki Shareer Da Koi Ang Bahar Na Nikalo“
She Is Really A Smart Wife
Husband Asked His Wife While Doing Sex
Husband: “Honey, Why Do I Get All My Great Ideas In Bed Only?”
Smart Wife: “Because You’re Plugged Into A Genius“
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